This post is really for my Spiritual Sister Sojourners (you know who you are), but since it relates to hiking and is too long for a text, I thought I'd post it here.
Alright, gather 'round for a little tale from last year on Scotland’s magnificent Great Glen Way. Picture this: Kody, the mountain goat extraordinaire, zooming up those peaks like she’s got rocket boosters installed. Meanwhile, I’m down below, huffing and puffing, calves burning like I’m trying to set a new world record in flame-throwing. I ask Kody, “Aren’t your calves on fire?” And she’s all casual, “Nah, just engaging my glutes!”
Engage my glutes? Are we training for the Olympics here? I’m already battling with my bruised heel, trying to remember to press my toes into the ground with every painstaking step, and now I need to squeeze those glutes too? So, there I am: steppresssqueeze, steppresssqueeze, steppresssqueeze—do I get a medal for this? My heel is screaming, and I’m like a clumsy octopus trying to pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time. Spoiler alert: That’s not happening!
Now, since Kody’s been mastering the glute game to support her knees, I figured that must be the secret sauce. But I can’t just flip a switch and engage my glutes like a pro! So, I continue my slow-mo ascent, calves still on fire, while Kody’s waiting impatiently at the peak, probably thinking about ordering a pizza by the time I arrive. But wait! (you know that commercial) This year is going to be different!
I’ve been training since January 1st, folks. Step, press, squeeze, repeat! I've worked at that for six whole weeks now, and you know what? I thought I'd at least get a set of nice beach-ready buns before our Florida trip next week, right? Wrong: I'm pretty sure they might rival a rapidly deflating beach ball. But hey, little victories, right? I even made it up a few of my "tiny" hills before my calves burned out. Go me! Maybe it's time to hit the internet and do some research on this whole glute engagement thing.
Hey Kody, just a heads-up! If I somehow manage to forget to holler at you when we kick off our epic mountain-climbing adventure, don’t you worry! I’ll be darting up the mountains like a deer on espresso, hopefully making it there within 30 minutes after you've started your victory dance. If not, just reset the clock because I’m definitely on my way and bringing the fire with me!
